As we moved across the Pacific Ocean there was a song playing in my head: “Lucky” by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. I heard it over and over again while we were planning the wedding. So much that it became one of our wedding theme songs, as if “Getting Married on Catalina” was its unofficial name. The lyrics rang so true “I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend/Lucky we’re in love in every way.” Watch the music video below.
(sorry for the annoying ad, by the way)
While the lyrics are a little bit more about longing and rejoining each other than applies to us, here they are for a read.
[Jason Mraz]
Do you hear me,
I’m talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I’m trying
[Colbie Caillat]
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
[Both]
I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
[Both]
They don’t know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I’ll wait for you I promise you, I will
[Both]
I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we’re in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
[Jason]
And so I’m sailing through the sea
To an island where we’ll meet
You’ll hear the music fill the air
I’ll put a flower in your hair
[Colbie]
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you’re all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
[Both]
I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
We caught a cab from Long Beach’s low key airport to the Catalina Express terminal. Mr. Pashmina and I went in the cab with the two pre-teens and it was so fun seeing their reaction to experiencing California for the first time. They were in awe of all the palm trees, how wide the freeways were–and that they were free!
Catalina Express
We met my mom, sister, and nephew at the Catalina Lounge, ready to set board the Catalina Express all together. Waiting for the captain to call for us to get on the boat was something akin to waiting in line for Disneyland. We were so excited!
We began our Catalina Island adventure in New York City. The first “scene” was picking up the dress from the bridal shop just minutes before it closed. I ended up staying late at work to finish up a few details before our two week vacation-wedding.
The Gown Ready to Travel Across Land, Air & Sea.
My husband picked me up with our best man as our driver. He raced down NYC’s Amsterdam Avenue from the Upper West Side only to hit major Midtown traffic. Then after barely making the cutoff to get my wedding dress by a few minutes my co-worker called. We left my niece’s bridesmaid dress at work. I had picked up from the tailor during my lunch break earlier in the day. So we promptly made a U-turn! But the real excitement came the next morning.
Have you ever seen the getting-to-the-airport scene in the movie Home Alone? There are so many people to get ready that something–or someone–major is missed. That was how our morning was. Our driver overslept and did not pick us up. We were too busy getting ourselves ready to notice. All of us ended up on the curb late, then scratching our heads: “Wait, where is our van?” After a few too many phone calls we ended up on course, an hour and a half later than expected.
When we got to the airport we barely made the 1 hour until departure cut off. Then came getting everyone through security. The older generations didn’t understand why they need to take off their shoes, and why couldn’t they bring in an unopened water bottles when they would be thirsty and “you know how expensive buying at the airport is.” Then came the issue with the young one.
When all eleven of us finally got to the gate and were ready to board we hit our final road block. As each of us presented our ticket and boarded the plane, one board pass was not there. Some how my sister-in-law misplaced one of the tickets for the little ones. My sister-in-law franticly went to retrace her steps while the rest of us boarded the airplane without her. My last view of her was going down to ticketing with an airline staff member. And in the most dramatic moment, about five minutes after the last person boarded–she showed up!
Flying to Long Beach, CA
Finally, all of us together, heading to our wedding across the country. From New York City’s crowded JFK airport to California’s beautiful and rustic Santa Catalina Island! As we set out for this experience of a lifetime we were nothing but smiles. We knew that this was going to be a super fun–yet not with out obstacles–family adventure. The Pashmina’s “Wrapped Up in Love” wedding recaps now begin!
After two clearblue easy tests, this one was conclusive: pregnant!
On July 2, 2010 we found out we were pregnant with a Little Pashmina.
Surprised? We were! Well, a little bit.
I went to the pool to clear my head. Here, I am on the elevator about to see my husband. Can you see the giddy excitement as I am trying to put on a straight face?
The next thirty days leading up to the wedding were a whirlwind. They say that when you are pregnant you become forgetful–absentminded, as your body’s way to simplify your life and focus on growing a baby. That pretty much sums my experience up. I left so much to do close to the date. And pregnant amnesia, that pretty much applies to the wedding. It was really like a daydream!!
You probably have noticed that I have been putting off my wedding day recaps. We got married way over a year ago, almost two! I can’t believe it has been so long! But now you know main reason. I just couldn’t explain my wedding experience without including this major fact. So how could I write my recaps? I was preggers and no one knew.
But before you offer your congratulations let me say that it isn’t good news. It wasn’t a successful pregnancy. I was absolutely thrilled about starting a family. But one week before we flew out to Catalina Island for our wedding we had our first baby appointment at seven weeks along. There, we found out that our little sesame seed wasn’t the blueberry it should have been. It was one week smaller than it should be. Then three days before we left, at a high-risk sonogram, the doctor noticed that the little one had a faint heart beat.
We left for the wedding knowing that there was more than a 50% chance that during our wedding I would most likely miscarry. And away from home, away from my doctor. I prayed and prayed nothing would happen. Each day went by and I still had terrible morning sickness…and that was a good sign. I thought things were developing. The wedding week went and passed. Then the next, our honeymoon week. Still no blood, no spotting, no miscarriage. Two days after we returned from our honeymoon I had a follow-up appointment. I couldn’t wait to hear the great news: there was no need for concern and everything had worked itself out–the baby had caught up. But unfortunately, before the doctor spoke I read the news all over her face. There was no heartbeat. No more baby. It had died as thought, sometime two weeks before. Maybe even on our wedding day. I was ten weeks.
And so…Little Pashmina no longer.
I had something called a “missed miscarriage.” My body thought everything was fine and carried on thinking it was pregnant–there were no signs for me to tell that it stopped developing. This became problematic because something was dead inside me and wasn’t gotten rid of by itself. And it was for longer than the doctors would like. Within 24 hours after my appointment finding out the bad news I went into surgery. I had a D&C to remove the tissue that my body still hadn’t expelled. It took me a month to feel okay. Two months to feel back to my old self physically.
My world crumbled. I went from so excited about getting married and about the next phase our lives to sadness. Trying to process all this in the pre-wedding days in a new location with all our extended families knowing nothing. Then having surgery after I was sure things were fine. Then the bad news got compounded at post-surgery check up. They thought that something was wrong. I had an “unidentified mass.” Either due to complications due to the miscarriage or that led to the miscarriage. For four months my life was filled with dozens of office visits, two months of reproductive specialists, and a visit to an oncologist. Our first half a year as a married couple was overrun by procedures and a strong possibility of major surgery. This would not allow me to carry another baby for two years.
My mind kept on racing, “would I ever even be able to have a baby?” Witnessing all the women at the reproductive endocrinologist made me think that it really doesn’t happen as easily as you are lead to believe. We try to protect ourselves from the chance of it happening for so long. But then what is unspoken for so many people is that it is hard to get pregnant, and even harder to keep it. I didn’t realize. It is just not talked about.
But then my luck changed. All of a sudden my body worked everything out! All tests started coming out normal! No more mass. Everything was fine! It just took a couple of months!
Really, bodies are amazing.
So bear with me hive! It is my 2nd wedding anniversary on the 31st. Take my word for it. Yes, there are posts on the way. Posts showing our beautiful destination wedding on Catalina Island, really a magical isle. You must see how much fun we had. How beautiful it was. And how our planning really didn’t matter–what mattered was that we were getting married!
On a side note: I toyed with the idea of writing this post for a long time. Yeah, almost two years (so please be nice and don’t judge me). That is why I have really been dragging my feet. I finally decided that it would be better to write it then to pretend that everything has been okay.
In actuality we didn’t have the wedding we planned for 15 months. Things fell apart because I just couldn’t do it, because I didn’t feel well due to morning sickness, and because nothing was as important as what I was going through. Right at the time that I had to do the most for the wedding I couldn’t. So many projects got left undone. Then I was so depressed because of impending miscarriage during the wedding week. Then the scare of surgery after the wedding didn’t allow me really reflect on the experience of the wedding itself. But that is life. Really, that is how things go. All the prep you do never means that things will go as expected. Life is unexpected. Life is full of challenges.
But I don’t want to be too much of a downer. We did have a great time at the wedding!! We both tried our hardest to forget about it, and at times we really did. The wedding was a blast! Much more fun then I could have ever imagined. Really, besides being super forgetful and sick I felt okay. I did think things were progressing with the pregnancy. It was right after the wedding that things got super sad! This was result of the miscarriage, and on top of that the complications. I never knew anyone that miscarried. Or I didn’t think I did. But they say 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage so it is something that you need to be prepared for. It was a very scary and a very sad time in my life. Pretty much one of the lowest.
But what can you do? Life goes on, and so must The Pashminas. And for those of you who follow my Twitter, I am sure you know that things have really, really, looked up! We got pregnant 5 months after our wedding, just a month after getting the green light. On September 28th our baby boy was born. We call him our miracle baby, but it wasn’t a miracle–it was meant to happen.
In three words: too much fun! If you know me it isn’t a stretch to know why I had the most enjoyable time picking out the flower girls’ dresses. Frilly? Flowers? Count me in! Our flower girls are totally the perfect age to play dress up at five and two years old. They are the age when they are super adorable in whatever they wear!
One reason why it was so easy is because I knew their style: “flower princess butterfly” as the five year old expressed it. As long as it was puffy and some shade of pink I knew they’d love it. It was a minimal pressure purchase. I figured as long as it wasn’t uncomfortable in fit or of scratchy fabric it would be just fine. Dealing with young children there is always the risk that their mood will dictate if they like it or not the day of the event. Really, children are a wildcard! But if the girls were happy and excited to wear the dresses from the get-go, then we were on track to have a good day.
Another reason why it was low stress was because I was paying. It could be as expensive or cheap as I’d like. I gave myself the responsibility to pay for all my junior bridesmaid and flower girl dresses. The five girls in total–three juniors and two flower girls–all came from one family. It would be a lot to ask of their parents to buy them all, especially since their mom, the Sister of the Groom, was buying a bridesmaid dress for herself and they were all tracking across the United States to be part of the wedding! So if I could ease any pressure off of them so they could attend happily, I had to do it.
I got a lot of help from the older sisters identifying styles that they thought would be cute on their younger siblings. The 10 year old junior bridesmaid took it on as her project and would always be calling me over to the computer to look at the one that had to be the one because it was way too adorable. From here I learned of some of the brands she liked for the youngsters: Kate Mack, US Angels, Biscotti, Hannah Banana, Halabaloo, Isabella & Chloe, Ooh La La, Posh Little Tutus and Le Pink.
Shopping I did in person on my own time. Hands down my favorite department store–and my recommendation for girl’s special occasion dresses–is Nordstrom. They have a huge variety of fancy dresses and so many of them were exactly what I was looking for. My other top department store was Bloomindales followed by Lord and Taylor, but they had less variety and less price points than Nordstrom. My other favorite shops were the outlets Nordstrom’s Rack, Century 21, Filene’s, and Daffy’s, all of these were great to find good deals. Unfortunately I could never find dresses in the sizes I wanted–they were always just a size off. I liked a lot of summer dresses at J-Crew where I purchased the junior bridesmaid dresses. They were all of coordinating colors (coral and blush pink were everywhere) but most of J-Crew’s special occasion dresses were either in white or too expensive (over $150). Some of the other stores at the mall had great sale rack options, like at Jacadi.
Here are some pictures of my most favorite flower girl dresses from my outings:
I ended up purchasing the girls’ outfits at Nordstrom. The two year old’s had a rosette on the bodice and the five year old’s had petals making up the the top. I just thought they were too cute and classic looking to pass up! Flowery? Check! Pink? Check? Flowy. Check!
Finding the perfect groomsmen outfit was harder than finding bridesmaid dresses! Much harder. After visiting Men’s Warehouse and trying on suits we realized we didn’t want a tuxedo. It was going to be too stiff, too heavy, and too much for a more casual outdoor wedding. The problem with was finding a suit that would work.
Rental stores are so good because they have different styles in stock, purchasing is less time sensitive–the three month turn over in mall stores becomes even more of a rush when trying for a hard to find size–and really, it requires minimal effort from the dudes. There is a clerk that knows what they need once they drop the wedding party’s name so they aren’t left to hunt for the right things all by themselves. Typically getting the guys to the rental store and on time is something that us brides go crazy trying to coordinate! And rightfully so!!
Our pick for the groomsmen
We tried to find a seersucker suit or a more casual tan suit at a rental store. But to no avail. We tried the main department stores but everything was too expensive to ask our groomsmen to purchase (we were already asking them to travel across the country so we wanted minimal cost). We looked at H&M, Zara, and UNIQLO trying to find low price items–and we did, but not in the range of sizes we needed (darn international slim sizes!).
We found our perfect outfit at a regular mall store called Express. It was exactly the style we wanted and it feel within the $150 or less budget we were hoping for. It was a seersucker vest and pants. I absolutely loved the seersucker vest look for the country club! It was perfect! We tried to take advantage of what the boys already had like white dress shirts and casual white shoes to save them money as well.
Image from Express
Below is a letter we sent to our groomsmen (originally with links but now outdated).
—–
Hey Groomsmen,
Here is what you should do while stores are stocked this month:
1. Sign up for a “15% off your next purchase” coupon
2. Purchase the following groomsmen attire (in-store or online)
Basically the outfit is a vest, pants, and white shirt (picture of the outfit is attached–we are not wearing ties).
5-BUTTON STRIPED CORDED COTTON SUIT VEST – COLOR: CABANA $79.50
YOUR OWN WHITE DRESS SHIRT OR 1MX MODERN FIT STRETCH COTTON SHIRT – COLOR: TRUE WHITE
YOUR OWN WHITE SHOES: SLIP ON VANS, CONVERSE, OR SIMILAR STYLE (WALMART HAS CHEAP ONES FOR $15)
Image from Shoes.com
——-
We sent this in April–you would think they wouldn’t wait until July to buy!! Well they did–well, two of them did and that screwed everything up! That left me in panic mode. Three groomsmen had the entire outfit. But one of them now couldn’t fit into his vest. One person only bought the pants and (in July) couldn’t find a vest. The bestman didn’t buy a thing thinking that we would automatically buy his since he was the “best” man. So we were down three vests, one pant.
For one entire weekend I bought every single seersucker vest I could find–that I could afford. Thankfully a lot were on sale at Macy’s (Bones & Rags, DKNY, Nautica) but they were not the same fabric, color, style of our Express outfits. I figured as long as they were in seersucker vests we would be okay, but I wasn’t excited about it. Some vests had navy blue stripes, some tan, some thin, some wide, some wrinkly fabric. One word: Headache!!
Our variety of groomsmen attire
I ended up with 6 miscellaneous vests unsure what was going to fit, bought an extra jacket thinking the best man could wear that if the others didn’t work, I found the missing pants at Express after going to three different locations!
The other thing that happened: we planned on Mr. Pashmina wearing the matching jacket so he would be a dressier than the groomsmen, but still matching. He didn’t fit into it! We never tried it on when we first settled on it so we were left to find another suit. Thankfully this wasn’t in July. But still…
In the end everything worked out, but I didn’t know how it was going to look until I was at the aisle! I left it for my groom to figure out.
Sorry for the delays in my posts–I can’t believe it has been more than two months since my last! Well, back to hair!
Image from Hairdressers on Fire
My three junior bridesmaids are gorgeous! They have this heavy and thick wavy hair. We are always playing and experimenting with it. One of my favorite hairdos on them is a summer chic, half-up bohemian braid. Originally I was looking at braid hairdos for me, but I just love it for the junior BMs–who are 10, 13, 15. It is cute without being too cutesy, and it is totally up my ally with my wedding being more of a natural and relaxed one. Basically, this hairdo reminds me of home in California and how perfect is it for our outdoor courtyard wedding there!
I was trying to look up some pictures online because as a penny pincher we will be doing all the kids hair ourselves. While on my search I found something better: YouTube tutorials. Here are a few for you that helped us on the magical day.
Just a week before our wedding I brought in a few of my inspiration photos to my hair trial. I was in between three hairdos so I wanted to try them all. Take a look at my thoughts going into the appointment. Then see how they turned out below!
1. The Half Up
It would be a good compromise between my longing for long wavy locks and an crisp updo. Perhaps I could look Grecian and whimsical like the character from Mamma Mia? Or perfectly in place like on Martha Stewart Weddings?
Martha Stewart Weddings
2. The Side Chignon
Love the ballerina bun, but the side chignon is even better because you can also see your bun from the front! And doesn’t that make it that much better!
Marth Stewart Weddings
3. The Side Pony Tail
Sassy, fun and young. I even feel different when I wear a low, side pony. Maybe a little country or rock ‘n roll. Or even back to that Grecian idea, I could do it with a loose braid.
Brides
That what I was thinking. This is how it turned out, translated by my stylist R.J. at Roger Joseph’s Salon.
Hairstyle 1: The Half Up
Hairstyle 2: The (Small) Side Chignon
Hairstyles 2 1/2: The (Large) Side Chignon
Hairstyle 3: The Side Pony
I told R.J. the night before the wedding which one I wanted to go with. It was hard to decide. Which one would have you chose?
Since I was getting married outside one of my fears was the wind. “Would it be gusty that day and would all my guests be distracted by me fumbling with my hair?” my inner bride would ask. The updo would be perfect! It could keep my hair in place and all I would have to focus on would be me getting married!!
When I saw the side chignon it seemed to have the right mix of everything I wanted: something young and fresh, relaxed enough for an outdoor venue, classic enough for the occasion. After taking a look at some of the other updos there are quite a few that captured the essence of what I wanted. Whether the hair is twisted, made into a bun, curled, pulled straight, side swept, or what have you there are so many beautiful ones to choose from.
So I’ve pasted a few of the updos that I love below for you. Many of them helped me decide what to ask for at my wedding hair trial at Roger Joseph’s Salon in New Jersey. Next post I’ll tell you what I chose and show you pictures of the day.
Which is your favorite updo?
Image by Tec PetajaImage by Jose Villa
Image by Tec PetajaImage by Tec Petajajillianmitchell.netImage by Tec Petajadianamarieblog.comImage from Martha StewartImage from Martha Stewartwishspecialevents.comImage from Instyle WeddingsImage from Instyle WeddingsImage from Instyle WeddingsImage from InstyleImage from Instylestylishpeople.infoImage from GlamourImage from People
The Bohemian Bride 